|Intellectual Orgasms| *gasps* did he just say THAT word? :O

{note: this is the 'first post' so to speak, originally written years ago, so even with recent edits, I keep it at the 'top' of the blog, as an extended description, I suppose. Just so ya know. } 

I've decided to write again. And again. And again. This is where it's going to happen. Surprisingly, when I least expect it, inspiration hits me like a brick to the face. I'm not going to reveal the reasons for each decision to write, but I know, finally, that whatever I spew forth will not go unappreciated. I've renamed it twice already - the original title being the title of this entry, 'Intellectual Orgasms', but I didn't want people to think it was something sexual - because we all know that's a bad word. Naughty boy that I am. *slaps self in face* Ow. Well, yeah - I just didn't want people getting the wrong idea. Then, it was called "Master0fPuppets' Mental Moshpit". That just grew the wrong way on me, like a mold. Or a rash. Like jock itch. I didn't like it, so I changed it to 'Mental Machinations', but I was still not happy about it.
So I went back to the original. 
But, enough about the friggin title.

You may find what I write hard to grasp, or even morbid at times, but such are the mental machinations in my head. These will be my (mis)understandings of poetry. These will be my mental vomit (chunks included! Yummeh!). These will be the things my heart sings to (or screams at) me when I'm alone and somber (or silly, or stoned). These will be my incoherent (or intellectual) neuron synapse firings. These will be what makes the daily me, me. If anyone thinks something in here is specifically about them, please don't question me on it - I probably won't tell you. If it IS about you, feel free to leave a comment letting me know you've seen it and are aware now. If, by chance, something happens to pique your interest, by all means, comment - I'd love to see that someone else can relate or even feel what I write. Criticism is also highly invited, of course. 

Thanks for reading this far, and who knows - you might just find fascination in something you never expected to see.


Update: 12/26/2021 Things have been quite the roller-coaster this year, and I've grown and learned more in the past 7 months, than I have in decades. Learned about myself, learned about love, learned about patience, learned about things I've struggled with all my life. Whether it was good or bad, nerve-wracking or peaceful, I'm grateful for the things I've been given and do not take a single thing for granted anymore. I've learned to let things be as they will, yet making sure I'm pushing forward to be better every day, and taking the steps I need to take so I can be where I want by this time next year. I've accomplished more lately than I have in decades, and realize that the goal is just that - the goal, but life is the journey and finding the balance between living and preparing is paramount. I am not just surviving anymore, nor am I overdoing it, I'm handling things one moment at a time. I know I've got angels on my shoulders, and I'll have my wings again soon. I'm excited for the rest of my life which is something I haven't felt for many many years, and it's amazing. Hope everyone out there had a wonderful holiday season, and is spending as much time with their loved ones as possible.

♥

Rob

[edit: In most of my posts, I will include whatever it was that inspired me to write that specific piece. I'd like it if people were not only able to see my mind, but the little things that cause it to be as melancholy and random as it can be.]